selinakyle's journals

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10/10/05--01:35: A whole new beginning here...wherever that might b (chan 2066681)




Ok, so I am supposed to find quite a load of some (old?) friends over here, but darn, I dont have anyone seeing over my shoulder and telling me how that thing here works.
Why must the difficult things all be done by oneself?

-The little stuff I`ve seen so far was more than promising, except for some quite awful and shameful things I would not`ve even shown my own mother when I was four...but there is at least some courage to that. Or ignorance?

I know there is always a bigger fish and am just hoping to meet some enlightful und interesting people here as well as seeing some more of the gorgeous stuff.

And no I am not as arrogant as s


10/10/05--10:08: what just a few hours can sometimes change... (chan 2066681)




Ok in English so everyone can follow my absolutely interesting (not!) thoughts about stuff concerning this site, or maybe even above that.

Am surprised how fast I`ve sunk into the things here after I kicked myself to just dive a little more in. And therefore I have to really thank quite a few people who have made it easy in a visual (WOW) and even more often friendly way which kept me crawling deeper to this site.

And don`t worry by reading this, I am used to the net.
See: In the real world there is chocolate and nothing on earth can replace CHOCOLATE.
("Alles ist gut wenn es aus Schokolade ist")

:worship:

Still I like the vari


10/17/05--01:00: DD....it`s me?!? (chan 2066681)




I am stunned.
:jawdrop:



Just came back home from my bf after the weekend and thought of malfunction here because of over a 400 messages!
And I still know only 1% of what is really going on here and how, wow.

Thank you all so very much for your attention, especially in the name of all the other participants in the "mud-fango-project" who made this all possible.

I tried to answer some of the questions in one commentary on "insect", in case its too hard to find within the sea of commentaries I´ll add it here again:



We were NOT wearing any undies
We were about to make another "mud-session" but sadly did not find the ti


12/12/05--02:33: grey December desert day (chan 2066681)




...this is one of the times in this year for me that everything is going down the drain.
Well if something goes wrong, its rarely only one thing...is it?


But I am not without hope and good friends:-)



Therefore, please don`t be angry with me, if I`ll only be here every now and then in a week.


Thank you all for your insights and the ever inspiring art.



Take care,


Selina


03/29/06--06:19: ...as time goes by (chan 2066681)




Already at the end of march.

This is going WAY too fast with me:(

I have not been here for about 3 weeks, really I was filled with loathesome anticipation on my return:
All in all "only" a 300 messages.

So again I lost quite some wonderful stuff from all my friends here, which I am very sad to say so.


I will try and set my mind on the task to visiting more regulary, but am quite sure I might fail again.

I will start a pracitcal half year at a big commercial company on April 3rd, so I might be even more busy until September. Find that time mashine for my sake!


Loving this site and quite some of the people and their art


04/13/06--02:40: summoning spring (chan 2066681)




...takes far to long this time.
Has anyone some spells left in a forgotten little corner of ones warderobe, or bathroom?

*sigh*



I work a lot those days in an advertising company, but have always some 5 minutes every now and then to chek more often on DA, as I promised!

I am looking for some willing models (whoever, whatever gender or age I frankly don`t care) to get more into my new mirror reflex DIGITAL camera :heart:

Until next time,

S.K.


04/24/06--03:04: mondays... (chan 2066681)




...always are such a tired evil thing.

Staying alert with nothing to do but waiting for a new task in the office at least leaves  me some precious time to explore some gorgeous stuff here at DA.

But I still need willing models to practice.
Of course there are quite SOME willing friends, but with no free time soon enough.
Hey, I´d even be willing to do some photography battles and put myself in front of someone elses camera, if only I may shoot as well! ;)

Oh yes, I forgot to mention: Its spring now.

HA! My begging worked at last.


Until next time.

S: K.


05/23/06--04:49: no news but still (chan 2066681)




..ok its time for something new. At least in my journal, shame is, there is really nothing new to tell in my  life.

I am still at JWT ( at the sixth place worldwide in advertising companies :D ) until September and enjoying my temporary stay there. Layouting and hunting cool ideas, really the job of my dreams. Think I chose the right profession for me at last:)
Afterwards I`d like to change to my hometown for the main part of my design studies...keep all fingers crossed, that the change will happen smoothly (currenty still signed in a town nearby, but hard to reach)

And I found a new hobby when beeing alone, tv is sending&nb


07/25/06--07:43: oops (chan 2066681)




I am still alive an trying to folow all the beautiful stuff here...which is mainly impossible. For my private and business life turned out quite breathtaking at the moment. And at least the latter might not quiet down until the end of September.


And did I mention I am single again? Quite strange and very sad at the beginning but I start to enjoy it at last...at least a little.


Wish you all a wonderful summer....

:kiss:
Selina


09/12/06--01:32: What the hell is going on? (chan 2066681)




Not that I am a all to frequent user of DA (no, to be blunt,  I take care of my business here far to less):
But where is my adored all time favourite texture-provider and more than entertaining deviant texturemattic?  

Gone and Banned?? :worry: :rage:

Maybe its just me beeing naive again (would neither be the first nor the last time), but weren`t we all just happy to be nicely entertained by his journals, polls, competitions etc. and of course his wonderful textures, which were so very frequently used by soooo many people here?


Maybe I do have to get over my flu (its 30° Celsius today shit) to see things f


09/13/06--09:52: fluhorror (chan 2066681)




Its 30° Celsius today, I hav eto work overtime having the flu and fever. Lovely.

So its only complaints from me today. Sorry.


I`ll be more creative again in October, where I`ll be finally able again to resume my studies.

Thats all for now.


:kiss:


Selina


09/27/06--05:08: new beginnings casting shadows (chan 2066681)




Now my apprenticeship in the large advertising agency is nearly over...

I`ll bake chocolate-caramel-muffins this evening for my small farewell party there tomorrow.
Strange again how incredibly fast 6 months flew by just like this...
I think upon wether I might upload some of the things I did there. You`ll be quite surprised at how very different these things will be, compared to what you`ve known of me until now.

And I already began my "new" life last weekend with two shootings with me as model again, so watch out:)

Furthermore I`ll be going to try myself as photographer again. I am beeing asked more and more by people every week


10/18/06--02:52: just time for a new journal (chan 2066681)




Ok, I finished my time at JWT a few weeks ago, am continuing my design studies a little not too eager (hate this feelling of guilt accompanying me most of the time)...  At least I took some pics recently. Most of which I took of my (ex-?) boyfriend last saturday. Don`t ask abaut this one, I do not know myself why yet.
I gave up about expecting things in my love live becoming normal a long time ago;)

At least I got some new freelancer-graphic-designer stuff to do, word goes around about me and my work...thats something:)


So I do not have anything anymore important to say, see ya.

:kiss:

Selina


10/21/06--01:33: I am a feature....! (chan 2066681)




Am so very honored to be faetured here http://bitchinblack.deviantart.com/journal/10453866/ by bitchinblack. A very special hug to Bruno the photographer and of course the all seeing artistic eye of texturemattic!

:kiss:

Please make sure you check out the other featured artists. Really nearly too much to handle and to see for just a minor member.
-Am really thinking about subscribing, maybe I should get a print account as well.
What do you people think?




Its soooooooo gorgeous beeing here with so many other people whom glimpse the world, very much alike I myself do.


:heart:


Thank you all so much!


Selina


11/09/06--02:59: Now I am a subscriber:)Its all about catching up (chan 2066681)




I somehow am always a little shy in entering these journals and not quite sure who reads my lines at all. Since I`ve been insulted by an 14 year old within a forum thread about my English I am not that self confident any more about my foreign language knowledge. And I dare say that I was among the best in my English classes, and my teacher used to encourage me to study English at some university....all this years ago. But....well it does not matter nowadays.

As almost always a very huge SORRY to some people here, whom have waited for answers on their notes. I so scarcley have been here within the recent weeks, and if I was, then just to si


11/15/06--01:41: a brush all over experience and an act of great ki (chan 2066681)




Hey you all,

first I`d love to say that DA is a much more fascinating and grateful thing with beeing a subscriber, I guess I`d love to stay it that way.
I discover new wonderful, breathtaking deviations, artists and goodies nearly every day.

As to the goodies:
As some of you know I am a graphic designer, still a student, but in the job for 5-6 years now.
NO ONE ever told me of the brushes applications which can be used to whole new purposes.
Not even the people at John Walter Thompson, were I spend some 6 months lately.    :crazy:

This was my very first shot at it:
:thumb43056246:

I am addicted!

:he


11/16/06--03:03: Is there something I should know? (chan 2066681)




Hey dears here at DA!


Well, usually I am not to keen about changing my journal all too often, but since I`ve gotten incredibly high pageviews, adds and favourites yesterday I am somewhat curious, why??? Its all a little too sudden for a coincidence I think.

Most of the favourites added yesterday were my most popular ones anyway, bust still all at once at a rush much, much more adds than on a usual standard day here....hm.

So I will become somewhat unpolite and not comment upon the adds and comments upon this pieces anymore (it just takes too much time, sorry):

:thumb23986076: :thumb36979348: :thumb41592287: :thumb24122469:

S


12/21/06--16:38: Xmess (chan 2066681)




____________________________________

Hey dears, friends, worshipable artists and human beeings here at DA!

After a really nice person :kiss: told me about the somewhat confusing message of my last journal, I felt the desperate need to write a new one.

Some words towards my last journal:

I was merely wondering and absolutely awestruck by the sudden rush of comments and steady rising poularity of my work shown here. :faint:
Repeat: I was NOT complaining about becoming more popular- quite the contrary-
I am so very much honored. Thank you all so much, the people here really help me going with my design studies. I scarcely ever fo


01/04/07--03:30: 2007, already? (chan 2066681)




Thank you guys here for your caring sympathy towards my family situation. :hug:

Whis has frankly not really improved, but as I stated before...its really miracolous how one gets accustomed to new situations.
Strangest thing is: I cannot stop loving all of my family. Any quicker I accepetd this quite some tensuion melted away as my Xmas dessert. Though I still feel sorry for my parents and my grandmother.


01/23/07--03:27: 1. 2. 3. (chan 2066681)




Current business of my life:

1. Hard to admit, because I feel a hell of a lot of shame because of this:

- I finally try again on making my driving license.
Correct, I never had one, I last tried 5 years ago and ran away when things got worse. I´ll tell you if I get through THIS time. Frankyl I am not that confident... :(


2. I am trying to finally buy a new Computer.
Please all cross your fingers, that my bank will agree as well to my needs;)
My professor encouraged me to let the illustration project of mine be printed out in large style (A1).
My old Apple Macintosh G4 cannot handle this huge amount of data. Have my eyes a


05/21/07--09:58: dying the worst way (chan 2066681)




...yet still alive (don`t woory too much, just line out of my new discovered fav electro act "Necessary Response"

Well now I am finally old (enough?)...yes its easy to guess my age now, me just giving this hint.

Apart from that, no BIG news. My ex still spilling my hearts blood, well suitors piling up at my front doors. But that does no one any good, or does it? If someone has any advice concerning my situtation, please feel free to give it :crazy:


First shooting yesterday the 20th of May for a long time with good friend Bommi, whose wife I recently shooted, the catlike pic with me on the mirrortable was made by him as well.

Pl


06/22/07--01:09: I will be chasing a starlight (chan 2066681)




Just a VERY short note:

I am welll, I am close to some examns and am doing well with the one(s) I am going to have (Photography YEAH!)

It would take too much time, to tell the disastrous story of what my ex all did to me during our relationship and the 3 months he kept me hanging on afterwards -until I found out an huge amount of truly shocking things about him...I`ll leave that up to your darkest imaginations...and all those revelations still keep piling up day by day.


BUT:
The moment I let go, another door opened up for me...until now just a crack but I am already more then halfway through. Every bitter end should always be the


07/26/07--06:44: 2cnd DD and coming to NY & Montréal (chan 2066681)




Ok dears just a new journal because it was about time, I was not on for a few days...came back to discover one of my works was a DD :party:  How awesome, thank the dear who suggested me yet again :worship:

The funniest part for me: I was NOT the model this time, merely the photographer.
I might still to get used to that.
Which I found somewhat distracting was the unfortunate, not all too nice discussion underneath the DD, concerning Silkes lack or not lack of body fat. PLEASE!:dohtwo:
IF I wanted to make that matter subject of my work or/and matter of discussion you can bet I´d be somewhat more obvious about its contents


09/13/07--08:05: marriage proposals,fake futures&a disturbing p (chan 2066681)




...the title says it all folks, just how it is and how it feels.



2 new shoots coming up one with me before AND behind the lens. I like to call it a duel:)
Next week my new semester starts, also looking forward to that.

Aaaaaand I am going to get my back tattooed, you will all be among the first to know what it will look like :boogie:



Keep warm summer has been an absent asshole, lets just hope autumn is an honest one with lots of time to cuddle.
...at least I have Gizmo for that part handy ;)

:kiss:


Selina


09/29/07--09:13: counting the days... (chan 2066681)




...down to the 17th of October were the first part of my tattoo will be made...:love:



Fighting of the queue of idiots at my doorstep awhilst scheeming how to attract ab´nd finally catch the right ones:giggle:

Semester started at my university and I will be showing ALL of my favs in some very special class I have assigned myself to, am as alays more than grateful to have DA:heart:





Apart from that, not much new. Sorry.

:blowkiss:


Selina


01/10/08--08:48: Losing ground is what it takes if you want to fly (chan 2066681)




Better late than never: Wishing all my friends here a GORGEOUS 2008.
As far as I am concerned there is more than enough space left to make 2008 a whole lot nicer than 2007, though to me 2007 was a difficult year, but also I never learned as much about myself.

Sometimes one has to fall low to discover true ground beneath ones feet I guess.

:heart:









My personal resolutions:




To leave behind:

-Exboyfriend and every mess he ever caused which ruined 80% of my 2007 including most of the recent 3 years
-Remorse about good friend who died 25th of November


To look forward to:

-Difficult but loveable, wonde


04/03/08--13:02: I am alright...! (chan 2066681)




Really I am good, fine, most of the week I`ve been gorgeous...truly.


I will tell you what happened if all will develop as I dream of, so far it became even more wonderful than I ever imagined...


I just had to update my journal, could not stand those sad lyrics anymore as beautiful as they are, NOT fitting to my current life.



:heart:


11/06/08--14:17: Unhappy Halloween (chan 2066681)




Feel the seasons change
Unwavering like waves
October haunts me
We'll be allies all my life
Cold autumn days
Turn my mind back to a time
When I was alive
Not unexpectant
Let alone scared
Lighting candles
I'm slowly drifting back
Sometimes
Sometimes
We're living so close to the answer
Sometimes
We're wasting our chance to the censor
Inside us
Sometimes

http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=n6KayJpY7iY


I need not tell teh same tale twice.
Its bad enough I lived it twice in the recent year.

-So enjoy this beautiful song and all will eventually be good one day. Or at least:  Bearable.

Selina

Btw: Did I tell y


05/18/09--05:59: The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated MT (chan 2066681)




A lot happened.

In fact the worst I`ve ever seen in my life -so far.

On the 14th of DEcember there was a fire in my parents home, my father barely lived, stayed in artificial coma for over 4 weeks.
Four horrific weeks for us, his family, as we would not know wether he would live through the next day during those dark days.

Over all the events I had to quit my studies and am now working at a small design-office close to my home city.
I have my driving license now, but have to drive my sisters car, as I wasnot able to afford the perished Opel Record Oldtimer...


Yet I am so very, very grateful: I got to know who my father really


02/11/10--02:19: Ahem (chan 2066681)




I`ve been neglecting my journal duties (if one might call it that) in a shameful way again *sighs*

I keep it short:

My dad is still alive, though seriously ill for the after effects of the terrible fire desaster in December 2008.
My life changed forever in any way possible after that, not all for the bad. In fact I`ve become the better woman inside myself, or at least it feels that way.

Well, I had to leave my studies unfinished without my diploma in March 2009, for my family was not able to support me any further.
- No the insurance compmanies still have not paid their share, those goddamned bastards from hell.

I worked in a n